Which is Full of Saucepans
by Werewolf Master
Summary: Oneshot. Fluff. Book-based  post book . Saucepan song inspired. Sophie is irate at Howl for coming and going without taking any notice of her, and that silly little saucepan song is really getting on her nerves.


**Disclaimer: I own neither HMC, any of the characters mentioned, nor the saucepan song.**

**A/N: I recommend listening to this son, and/or reading the translation first, as the fic makes several references to it. But it should be understandable, whether or not you do.**

**Song: /www. Youtube .com/watch?v=terB8OmB6_E&feature=related (Delete spaces before and after "Youtube")**

**Translation: http:/en. Wikipedia .org/wiki/Sosban_Fach (Delete spaces before and after "wikipedia")**

**Which is Full of Saucepans**

"Sosban fach yn berwi ar y tân! Sosban fawr yn berwi ar y llawr!"

"Will you _please _desist in your inane drabble about a saucepan!"

Howl looked remotely shocked.

Sophie was please with this reaction, but not enough to drop her scowl.

"A'r gath wedi sgramo Joni bach…"

Sophie rounded on the fireplace, which seemed intent on stoking the fire, so to speak.

"How did you know it was about a saucepan, Miss Nose?"

"You said it yourself. 'Saucepan vash' and all that."

Howl laughed heartily. This did not improve her mood.

"_Sosban fach_!"

"Yn berwi ar y tân."

"Stop that!"

Calcifer's face disappeared behind the logs in the fireplace, but she could hear him crackling merrily in a way that sounded suspiciously like a cackle.

"Mae bys Meri-Ann wedi brifo, A Dafydd y gwas ddim yn iach!" Sang a third voice, shamelessly, as Michael skipped down the stairs.

Sophie gave a shriek of rage and stumped out through what used to be the broom cupboard, and was now a doorway into the flower shop.

"What _has _got her so upset?"

"Maybe the cat scratched her," Calcifer suggested, purple eyes just visible under green tufts of flame.

Howl tried not to laugh as the sound of pots and buckets banging around floated in from the broom cupboard.

"I had better go see, before she turns all the water to weedkiller again," Howl said mournfully.

He put on a stoic air, combed his hair through his fingers, shot a glance in the mirror to make certain he was properly gorgeous, and marched through the cupboard into the flower shop.

"And good luck to you…" Calcifer crackled, "A'r gath wedi sgramo Joni bach…."

Howl cleared his throat. Sophie pointedly did not look in his direction. Instead she muttered crossly to herself, slamming a boot-full of bluebells down on the counter.

"Saucepan, _indeed,_" She scowled at the flowers.

The flowers drooped.

"Live, you terrible things!"

And they wilted.

"Uh.. Sophie…?"

"_What?_"

Howl opened and shut his mouth several times as the redhead turned her fiery gaze upon him. His mind went blank. All the pleasant things he had come up with to say to her had slipped out of his mind the moment she rounded on him.

"I… er…"

"Yes! _You! _That's all it's ever about, isn't it?" She pointed a limp bluebell at him. The pathetic flower shriveled further.

Howl tried to think of something to say, but was, thankfully, spared the need to by Sohpie's continued rant:

"You haven't thought of me since you promised me a 'happily ever after!' Didn't it occur to you I might hold you to that? No, of course not; you've just been running about from place to place, and when you _do _come home, it's to sing about _saucepans _with Calcifer! Not such much as a 'good morning, Sophie,' or a 'how are you, Sophie?' It's all 'Saucepan vash, saucepan vash!'"

"Sosban fach yn berwi ar y tân!" Shouted Calcifer, in correction, from the broom cupboard.

"Whatever!"

Howl blinked at her and then, to Sophie's indignation, laughed.

"Why _Sophie, _my dear, I thought you _knew!_"

Sophie snarled in a most un-lady-like fashion, and seized the boot full of dead flowers, holding it menacingly.

Howl held up his hands in a gesture of peace.

"I told Calcifer to tell you the first day I went!"

"Mae bys Meri-Ann wedi gwella, A Dafydd y gwas yn ei fedd…!" came a snippet of Calcifer's voice from the cupboard.

Sophie made no response but to threaten to douse Howl in fowl-smelling weedkiller.

"Yes—well, I can see he didn't do that," Howl said, trying to make amends, and avoid having death splashed on him. "I was in _Wales, _because I thought you might…"

His voice trailed off. A flicker of curiosity passed Sophie's face, but not enough to make her scowl any less menacing.

"Well… I… erm…"

"Spit it out, Howl Jenkins!"

"I thought you… erm… might… like to…"

"Like to what, for saucepan's sake!"

Howl moved his lips, but his words were so quiet that they were drowned out by a "Mae'r baban yn y crud wedi tyfu, A'r gath wedi huno mewn hedd," from Calcifer.

"What?"

"I thought you might like to—"

Calcifer raised his voice, seemingly _trying _to make things more difficult than they already were for Howl: "_Sosban fach yn berwi ar y tân! Sosban fawr yn berwi ar y llawr!"_

"Calcifer!"

"A'r gath wedi huno mewn hedd?"

"_Shut up!_"

"Dai bach y sowldiwr… Dai bach y sowldiwr…" Calcifer muttered, unable to contain himself.

Sophie glared at the doorway for a moment, then turned back to Howl expectantly.

Howl took a deep breath and tried again:

"I _thought _you _might_ want to get—"

"AETH HEN FARI JONES I F FAIR Y CAERAU, I BRYNU SET O LESTRI DE!"

Sophie looked ready to burst.

"OND MYND I'R FFOS AETH MARI GYDA'I LLESTRI TRWY YFED GORMOD LAYER JAWN O 'DE'!"

Howl took a deep breath preparing to shout over Calcifer.

"SOSBAN FACH YNBERWI AR Y TAN, SOSBAN FAWR YN BERWI AR Y LLAWR!"

The moment Howl opened his mouth to speak, however, Calcifer shut up, leaving Howl shouting over nothing, making him quite audible, not only to the whole of the household, but to half the street outside the open door.

"I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO GET **MARRIED **IN WALES!"

Sophie gaped, too shocked at having had a marriage proposal shouted at her to respond immediately. Howl flushed a pale pink.

"SOPHIE! Is that _true? _You're getting _married?_" Martha's face appear in the doorway.

"It's about _time!_"

"Dear Sohpie, why didn't you _tell _us?"

"Oh Sophie, I'm so happy for you!"

All Sophie could think to do was drop the boot of weedkiller and flinger her arms around Howl's neck.

"Is that a yes?"

"I will marry you, Howl Jenkins," Sophie said, staring deeply into his eyes, oblivious of the fact that the weedkiller was eating through the floor behind the counter.

Howl smiled in return.

"On _one _condition."

Howl raised his eyebrows, "And what is that, Ms. Hatter?"

"That you get Calcifer to _shut up_."

"A'r gath wedi huno mewn hedd!"

"For you, Sophie, I'll clean up the saucepan myself."

**A/N: Yeah, I really don't know where that came from, except that the saucepan song turns out to be quite catchy.**

**Reviews, please? I will love you forever!**


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